Are you good parents? 10 tips by psychologists

20 July 2015

the secret people re-el magazine

Effective communication involves the application of specific skills. These skills fulfill a central, vital role in Parenting Schools, where major factors and practical to improve communication between parents and their children and thus to improve the quality of their relationship.
According to psychologist Vasiliki Pappa, communication skills are learned and acquired both theoretically and practically through exercises that take place within the meetings. The coordinator-instructor introduces parents theoretical and practical (through examples) in these skills. That is one way -the obvious, informative on the “teaching” in the transmission of knowledge. The other way is the one that has to do with the continued application of these skills by the coordinator during the entire duration of the meetings.

The moderator – trainer undoubtedly is considered as a model for the parents. -is a kind of parent. Therefore, as every parent is a model for the child, so the coordinator is (as another kind of “parent”) model for parents who make up the group. Knowing this, the moderator wants to transfer to them the behaviors that parents will “take” at home.

The coordinator teaches to parents:

• Promote mutual respect in their relationship with their children, building an equal relationship with them, where one respects the rights of the other and have mutual confidence.

• Do not criticize the behavior of their children, but rather to emphasize positive behavior and highlight the effort, cooperation and contribution.

• Accepting their child / children as is / are, not as they would like to be. Demonstrating assumption, help children feel good about themselves and to achieve the goals they set.

• To help children become responsible, encouraging them to take initiatives.

• To allow children to learn from the consequences of their actions, avoiding a relationship which is based on reward and punishment.

• Have the courage not to be perfect. To recognize their potential and not have excessive demands on themselves. In the same way to encourage children to have the courage not to be perfect and accept their potential.

• To set reasonable rules and limits and not have excessive expectations. To live according to the rules laid down.

• Carefully listen to what they want to tell their children and try to understand their feelings.

• Take children seriously and care about everything that matters them, eg clothes, sports, music, books

• Understand and evaluate the course of their evolution (Ntinkmegier & amp; Makkaii, 2000).

It is important that parents pay attention to both the message content and the articulation of the frame, ie how to express the message of each child. This is more helpful to observe the nonverbal messages that convey children: facial expression, eye contact, posture, the gestures, and tone of voice. It is also important to observe whether the verbal content of the message agrees with the nonverbal (Pease, 2003). To achieve this, parents should observe carefully, exercise in observation and of course be there, be present, literally and figuratively. In short, to spend time with their children.
A lot of talk has been made and is on the importance of devoting quality time to children: It is true that quality time that is spent with their children is more important than more time and less quality. It is a statement, an assertion of specialists, which fortunately came to reassure parents who are now both hard workers.