6 steps to win those around you

6 tips-the secret people re el magazine

8 August 2015

Tags:book publishing, audio book learn, book the book, magazine publishing

A perfect way to show people that you are relaxed, comfortable and interested to know them or become their best friends has been suggested by Arthur Wassmer in his book «Making Contact».

He proposes the use of the word Soften. Word formed from the initials of the following non-verbal signals:


Open Posture 

Forward Lean 


Eye Contact 

If until now you were not generally very expressive soften the above techniques you might find excessive. One of his patient who did his training in these techniques within ten minutes managed to control quite well her behavior.

It is a common reaction of people who have not been exercised. The technical soften can help you not only to express a feeling out but also to feel. This psychological principle is called inversion. But what matters to you is that if for example, you smile to become like to someone, you begin to feel and makes you happier.

Let’s look at these techniques in a bit more detail.

The smile always sends positive messages. I like you, I am pleased with you. The others can feel comfortable with me. When you donot smile, others are very likely to think you are not interested or those that you are generally cold and indifferent.

Open position. The way in which position is your body can tell a lot about how you are available to contact and how interested you are in what they say. All closed positions show that you are interested in substantial contact. Non crossed legs and hands are open positions which probably will show others that you are relaxed and interested in a meaningful communication.

Slope of the body. People consider their apartment or house as their private area in which they do not want others to invade without their consent. This also applies to communication. Personal space ranges from one to one and a half measure for strangers and half a meter for our friends, family etc. If you are closer and you are very likely to seem hostile or familiar.

Touch. The handshake showing others how interested you are in them. A relaxed handshake indicates personal weakness, but a powerful causes far greater cordiality and sympathy.

Eye contact. The eye contact is a prerequisite for a successful social interaction. If you avoid looking at someone his or she will assume that you are anxious or that you hide something or that you care more about something else than for him/her. A good rule is to look at each other at least for ten seconds every time.

The movement of the head. If you do not shake your head at all which is very common, others will assume that you disagree with them or that you are confused and do not understand or that you are not interested. A single shake of the head means agreement. Late small shakes recurring mean understanding and generally encouraging. Faster shakes successively show that properly understand what you hear and agree with them.

Tags:book publishing, audio book learn, book the book, magazine publishing



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